-I remember you’ve told me before, you worked in semiconductors at UT? Can you talk about that a little?
It’s a long story. It was really tricky. Sometimes, in the summer time, it gets really hot when when you work with something like that. And you have to have the air conditioning constantly going. If you don’t, everything will get heated up. If it gets really hot, it can explode.
-Can you describe the work again?
It was working with energy, like nuclear energy. I just watched to controls to make sure everything is cool. If it’s above a certain temperature, you gotta find a way to cool it. If it’s too hot, it’ll sound an alarm. If anything, it’s a pretty laid-back job. One person will watch it at night, one in the afternoon, in the morning. It’s pretty laid-back. To me, it just got old. I did it for about 5 years. It was just like babysitting a baby. We had people watching, cameras. And you gotta watch the temperature at all times. If it’s too got, the gauge goes all the way up. It’s just an up-and-down thing.
-How long ago was this again?
I’d say about 30 years ago. They had to cool the core down, then they had a crew in to transfer it. Then they had to remodel the whole thing, because the gauges were old. They had spring gauges: they replaced them with digital. After that, they had to put the core back in. Otherwise, it was a pretty cool job. When the thing gets really hot, we gotta alert people, because we don’t want radiation spreading around campus. It reminds me: I spent a year in the navy, I couldn’t stay that long, but they had a nuclear sub also. And you gotta keep that cool also. If you don’t, you’ll have chaos.
-I didn’t know you were in the Navy before.
Yeah, I was in it for about a year and a half. But my mom was sick, I had to come back. I had to spend my last years with her. She just said, “Be all you can be.” So I just did this, did that, graduated. I took about three, four years of courses at ACC. Then, back in the day, they called it HT College—I went over there for about three, four years.
What did you study?
I studied a whole lot of stuff. Chemistry, math, all that stuff. And also history. We had a couple of guys, like me, and people would say, “Hey, you nerds! Lets’s go party!” I said, “No, man, we got exams to do!” They said, “Aw, man, loosen up! Go on out there!” Even though me and friend of mine were fresh fish, they told us we had to go out there and loosen our hair some. So we partied some, came back in and studied some more. It was great. Sophomore year, we just skated on by. We got smart, and one of our professors was like, “Y’all better not be cheating!” We weren’t. Just for us, he changed the book. He tried to get us in our senior year. He flip-flopped the course and taught it backwards. He said, we’re going to go back to electricity, household chemicals, and a whole bunch of other stuff. We were like, come on man!
-So did you graduate with a degree in something specific?
Yeah, I ended up staying for all four years and getting a Bachelors. After that, a friend of mine got me into mechanics.
-Fixing cars?
Yeah, how to operate. We maxed out on that. Because cars with electricity, we were just messing with it. That was the first electric car that we had, and they wanted to challenge us. Then another university wanted to challenge us. They got solar cars and stuff like that. So I said, we gon’ have a race. He said, if y’all car win, $10,000 scholarship. I said you’re joking. He said, naw. We were like, alright. The car lasted the entire time: it didn’t run out of electricity. Their car did not work, because clouds were covering the sun.
-These were real cars that you designed and made?
Yeah! They were junk cars really, came from parts. A friend of mine was a welder. He got me hooked up with welding after college. We won that contest—their car only moved a half-inch. So they lost the bet.
-So when you were in college, did you have a plan for what you were going to do afterwards?
Yeah, I was thinking about just splurging around. But the University of Texas was a serious job that I decided to take on. After that, I worked for the state for so many years.
-What did you do for them?
I just did building maintenance. Them buildings is about 100 years old. We had to get our suits, and a mask, to get all those pests out of there. They had rats, dead rats. And it just grossed us out. But they ended up giving me a certificate for good service. The pay was superb, and the benefits were great.
-So these were government buildings?
Yeah, in downtown. When I graduated from HT, that’s when we had electric cars and stuff. I was in a freak accident then. A friend of mine broke his shoulder, I ended up fractured my ankle. I was doing fine, having that job at the state, climbing up the ladder. But I was wondering, why does my ankle hurt so much? Eventually, they rushed my to a hospital. I ended up having surgery. They had some sort of liquid fungus on my foot. I didn’t know it. It was just eating it up. They had to open it up, suck all that stuff out, and sew it up. The doctor said, “Lucky we got it. We caught it just in time. You could have lost your whole foot.” It feels like a bunch of pain, just constant pain. He said it was the fluid inside my foot. “If we didn’t catch it, it would start eating your bone.” It was so gross, so painful, watching them suck the fluid out.
-Did you have more jobs besides that?
I did a whole lot of other stuff demolition and things like that. Right now, what’s tickling my fancy is going back into mechanics. Because I love how cars are made. I’d also love to look at one of those Google self-driving cars, see how they drive themselves. It’s just, you have these servomotor, little tiny motors. And if you have a big servomotor, they can drive the steering wheel backwards and forwards. Another one operates the pedals. You usually have a steel or aluminum rod for the servomotor—we used a piece of hanger, chop it up. Sometimes we used fishing line. That’s how you do it. Because man, the engine transmission, a whole lot of stuff: they don’t realize, some things are worth gold. The technology has changed substantially—we went from carburetor to fuel injection, and now the fuel injection doesn’t have enough fuel to go in there, it just chokes out.
-Did you teach yourself this stuff?
Yeah! It was with my friends, but a lot of it I taught myself. I knew the technology was changing. Now, everything’s electric, got an electric motor. And you’ve got a bowl that sits in the tank, and when you start up your car and drive it, it tells you what level of fuel your car’s at. Without that, you couldn’t tell: you’d be blind. But yeah, that’s what I like to do mainly. From the small vehicle to the big vehicle.
-So how come you didn’t just keep doing mechanics?
It was my mom. My mom hated it, even though I loved it. She said no, son. My mother was a nurse all her life. My sister was an LVN before she died. My brother was in and out of prison, you know. My other brother, he got a Bachelor degree in civil engineering. He works for the Veteran Administration in Tampa. He’s doing pretty good, he’s making a pretty good living. And I got a nephew that’s also a chef. And I’ve got another niece in the US army.
-Do you keep in contact with your family?
Oh yeah! My nephew, I’m trying to keep him out of trouble. He wanted to lie on his application to the University of Texas. I said, don’t! He’s still a chef there. I’m trying to broaden his horizons, but he’s still a chef. Thinking about girls, stuff like that. I said, there’s more to life than that!
***
-What was it like growing up?
It was beautiful. It was hectic, but even then, it was beautiful. I dabbled here and there, but it was beautiful. That’s why I encourage other young folk to be explorable. Also, whatever field that you love or like, grasp it. Whatever you can master, get it. And stay with it, and if you like it, stay with it for a long time: retire from it.
-What if your mom doesn’t like it though?
Well, my mom didn’t like mechanics because my hands would get greasy, my clothes was dirty, stuff like that, because I was under the car the whole time. I don’t like that. I said, I’m planning on getting a career on it. She said, I still don’t like it. I said, you like it when I drive it around and everything. You like that! But you don’t like it when I fix it. She said, I still don’t like it, I want you to do something else besides it, dur dur dur. I said well, that’s what I like.
-She was okay with you going to the Navy though?
Yeah, she didn’t like me going to the navy either. And she didn’t tell me she was sick until later on. But I’d tell any young folk, don’t smoke. Cause seriously, I’ve had three family members that died smoking. And my brother, he’s still living, even though he used to be a chain smoker also. He’s stopped. The LORD has taken that stuff away from him. I was doing it. I saw that movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, I was trying to be like that old octopus, with that pipe in his mouth. I seen guys with tanks on their backs, and all that stuff. I’m like, y’all look like frog men.
-That’s what motivated you to stop: just knowing you could become that?
Yeah, it’s not just that. When it’s hard for you to breathe… I threw the whole thing in the trash. I said, this ain’t gonna kill me, nah nah.
-You grew up around here, right? East Austin?
Yeah, I grew up right around here! Lemme tell you the history of all it. Where we’re sitting right here, this used to be a meat market. Right behind there, that used to be a barber shop. There was another place, where they’d cut up your meat: kinda like a butcher shop. All that stuff burned down. There was a big huge fire. It destroyed this whole area. And that’s why they had to end up tearing it down. All that’s left is this foundation. And right where that house is over there, it used to be Harlem Theater. Christie Love used to be a woman detective. And bad guys is always wanting to kill her because she knew too much. And she was into the cocaine, drug thing. And they wanted to kill her, but they couldn’t. There were lots of movies up there, pimp, prostitute movies. But when that theater burned down, everything burned down. So they tore all of that then.
-It’s changed a lot then.
Yeah, a lot of history. This place’s got a lot of history. That’s why these real estate companies want to buy it so cheap. They bought that property over there for 60,000 dollars. They got Lola’s house—Ms. Lola, used to feed the homeless—do you realize they gave her 3 million dollars for that property? 3 million dollars.
-It’s gentrification, right? They’re building prettier buildings.
Yeah! Cause Lola owned her own restaurant, used to care for the homeless. I got my old aunt’s house, my cousins living in there. I told them not to sell that property cheap. I told them to see if they can get six digits. Because that’s what they want, they want to put up condos like that. See those condos over there? There used to be a little hotel there. A couple lived there for so many years. She’d get the business. There’d be a liquor store also. That used to be one too, called The Broken Spoke
-So what’s your opinion on gentrification? Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or somewhere in between?
I would say it was a good thing when I was growing up. Back then, they had a lot of drug paraphernalia, prostitution, stuff like that. But somebody just got tired of it, and then the LORD came in, started cleaning up the streets. People got retired, or died, and they sold their businesses off to somebody else. That’s why, there used to be Shorty’s Bar and Grill on 11th street. He didn’t pay his taxes. Somebody came off the streets, bought his business, stole his business from him. Just like that. He just signed the paper, since the other guy didn’t pay his taxes.
-Moral of the story, pay your taxes.
Exactly.
***
-Have you always been Christian?
I had two near-death experiences. And, that changed my life.
-Car accidents?
Yeah, and also a hit-and-run. I was driving a delivery van, and I lost control of it trying to pass a diesel and the rascal flipped over about three or four times. Lucky, I had my seatbelt on. the van was totaled. When my boss got a look, he looked at me up and down and said, man, the LORD has something for you. You just left that van without even a scratch. And the van is totaled!
-So did he introduce you to church?
The LORD introduced him to me himself. Cause I knew he had a love for me. And I know he spread that love toward others. And even though, when I was going through my darkest times, when my family didn’t want anything to do with me—at that time, I owed IRS a lot of money and then I was broke, I was out on the streets, I didn’t have anywhere to go. I got on my knees and said, LORD, I need your help. I kept praying, and they came to me, and the LORD said, you need to stop what you’re doing. You need to draw closer to me. I need more of your attention. And I cried. And a friend of mine introduced me to Mission Possible. Before I knew it, things began to change. And I said, thank God. I’m not the person that I used to be. Because everybody got a dark side. Everybody got skeletons in their closets. It can be drinking, smoking, pornography, fornication and all that stuff. But here’s the thing. When I was younger, and I had an old lady, but she just didn’t satisfy me for some reason. And when you turn into fornication, my uncle sat down to me, and said, that’s an addiction. You need to stop. And I told him, you’re wrong. And before I knew it, when I was in my late teens, I was addicted to that stuff. Every time I’d get paid—straight to the store. I said man, I gotta stop this. The LORD came to me again. Son, in order for me to get close to you, here’s the thing you need to leave alone. I said, LORD, I’m guilty of it. He said, I’m gonna work on your heart and you’re going to be clear of all it. Put your mind and soul on me. And I talk to young folks like yourselves, draw near to the LORD himself, and he’ll draw near to you. And he’ll bless you with who you’re going to be with in life. And that relationship will last a long time when Jesus is in it. It’s best for you to draw near to the LORD.
-So would you say that your faith has helped you get through your homelessness?
Oh, yeah. It might be something in it for me, or him telling me that I should do homeless ministry. But here’s the thing. I told them in the Bible study, we’re Christians, but we gotta bow down and be broken every day. Because if we’re not broken every day, we’re letting the devil take over. And the LORD will say, Child, I do not know you anymore. And now, human kind is destroying themselves. Because somebody never showed them how to go to church and praise the LORD. They just don’t know the Father until it’s too late. We have a true Father who loves us and blesses us.
Another thing is how you treat your fellow man or woman. Because this is the world, and the LORD just sat there and he got his eyes on everything. Every time this big ol’ globe rotates, he sees everything. He sees everything we do, good or bad.
***
-Can you talk a little more about the specific circumstances under which you became homeless?
It was just bad things that happened. Because you know how you have flashbacks? It was like a veteran, in a war, had bad flashbacks.
-Oh. PTSD?
Yeah. And, I had bad flashbacks on who did me wrong, who used me, and stuff like that. The LORD told me to put my trust in him, not in men, because men will always fail you, but the LORD won’t. Also, as a woman, I shouldn’t turn my back on my own race. But I turned my bac on my own black woman. Because all they care about it material things and money. They don’t care about the guy in his heart. Because when everything is gone, they’re gone. And the person that taught them that? It starts from the 1800s. And it shouldn’t be like that, but that’s the way it is.
I lost a woman because she only cared for me for money, she never cared for me for me. I got her out of some situations, I even fixed her car, fed her kids, when other guys didn’t. I took the kids in like they was my very own. And man, the father always had confrontations all the time. One time, he even had a 9mm on the counter. Threatened to shoot me for no reason at all. I said, man you’re crazy. One thing is, I’m taking care of your grandkids. I just got tired of it—I got burned out of the relationship. I told her, you go your way, I go mine. Because the LORD came to me right then. He said, this ain’t the relaitonship for you. You gotta let her go. I did, and I cried my heart out. And the devil came in, said, why don’t you just go drinking and get all the frustrations out? So I took a wrong turn again. I was drinking a 48 ounce. And I was at the TV, crying again. I got upset. I looked at that 48 ounce bottle, and I smashed it against the wall. I got on my knees, said, LORD, what have I done? The next morning, I prayed hard, and then I felt a whole lot better. I got over her. It took some time, but I got over her. Even though we had one child together. Her cousin got custody of him, and he’s a grown man now. But before, the one last time I saw him, when he was about 6, I said, always remember me for who I am. I told him, someday, I will come back.
I saw my former wife at Jack-in-the-box, and she showed me a picture of him. Said, surprise! You’ve got a grandson. I want to see him so bad.
-How many years have you been homeless?
Too long. I’ve been homeless on and off, cause I’ve been with friends, for a long time. There was a Christian brother I stayed with. We were making money, pretty good, in construction. He didn’t let me pay rent, told me to save my money.
-Do you know how many years since the first time you became homeless?
It was about 2006 or 2008. Nine years.
-What’s your plan for your future from here?
I just want to get back with the state and I want to retire. I’m only 53 right now, and I got so many years to go before I hit 60. So I’m just going to stay ’till then. If I make it that long. I’m just going to play it by ear.
-That’s all any of us can do really.
Homelessness is how you live as you’re homeless. Cause most of these guys, when they’re out here being homeless, they don’t know how to be homeless. They think homeless is ‘Oh, you go around, your clothes are dirty, you smell.’ No, you don’t need to do that. Cause if you’re out here holding a sign, making change like that, you’re making enough change to wash your clothes. You’re making enough change to get some soap. Go somewhere and just bathe up. Of course, they’re giving out some free deodorant—use some of that get some fresh clothes. You gotta look decent. I have a friend, and God blessed him with a place to stay, and his job is right across from his house. I said man, you’re off the porch. Don’t forget where you came from. He said every morning, I get out of my bed and I think about you guys. Every now and then, he’ll come get me, scoop me up and we’ll go wash clothes, watch movies. I get a shower, I get some rest over there. It’s nice to have friends like that. We had another friend names Hogan. He just dropped off into the abyss. That’s how life feels sometimes. When he got married, he thought it was the right woman for him. It wasn’t. So he went home, and his wife was in a bed with another man. He was broken-hearted.
***
-Anything else you’d like to say about your experiences?
I’d like to have experiences with young folk and tell you what’s going on. And direct you on that good path, that I never took. Because the bad path, we all so weak from that. And ain’t no telling what the LORD has prepared for us. The road is going to be rough, but you gotta hang on. You gotta pray. I’d tell anybody that. Because the old saying says, the battle is the Lord’s, not ours.
Reflections on Will →